One of the many things I have taken away from the Master Keys is realizing how much I enjoy blogging. I think it is ultimate important to keep current and when you write you need to write in the ‘now’ because that is truly where our awareness should be!
Last week was one of those weeks where my blogging seemed to really take a back seat. So this will be one of the few times I will be blogging about something in the past tense. I guess its an interesting exercise for me.
In the Week 23 Webinar material Mark J talks about how there is a tendency for students to not want the process to end. I think this was exactly what I was going through. I felt resistant. I pushed away the training… I can say I actually really truly dug my heals in with a resilient stubbornness which is a classing “Dan” Trait. I was running from the fact that pretty soon this course will be over and we will be self sufficient. I was running from the fact that In only a few short weeks this program will be over and I will be the Master and Chief of any and all decisions I make with regards to how I apply this material in my life.
Week 22a Really had me focusing on that ‘becoming the master of my emotions’. I really felt a huge moment of awareness set in. I didn’t disconnect entirely to have my quiet period.. but I had many small moments of quiet in which I found that space for little golden rays of light to shine through. I am really not in a place in my life where I can take a week to sit in silence. But it has become one of my goals to reach a place in my life where I can take a week to do so.
There were a few days last week where I tried to run as far as I could from the course and the material. What I found when I did is that who I was.. truly doesn’t exist anymore. I have openly accepted it so much in my life that there is not a moment in which I am not using some tool that I have learned over the past 6 months. I find my level of happiness and confidence in myself and what I am doing in my life makes things rather effortless for me.
The Self Reliance Article in the Activity says the following:
To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,
These words stuck me with a big huge A-Ha…. If we are All One separated only be a degree.. If we really do believe with true conviction and we truly identify with it.. does’t that mean we are living our fit in the world? By holding Our Definite major purpose and being near dear and true to it.. we are functioning in our role as a Piece of the whole. I love playing with words…. Could it not just be the need to be “at Peace” but to be “at Piece” too….? If we are really believing what is true for us. What we do benefits all men.. thus it is true for all men because we are truly contributing our Piece.. to the universe.
From a very young age I was always a video gamer. Computers fascinated me.. Technology by itself has been fascinating. There was something as we are on Scroll VI that really hit home for me last week. About 1.5 years ago I took a step back from all gaming what so ever. I even removed games from my phones. I was the gaming… non gamer? Everyone seems to have something interesting they unwind around. For many of us it can be Sports.. playing.. watching.. etc.. For me I’ve never been much of a sports fan.. (Sorry Mark and Daveen… football is lost on me:) ) But… gaming on the other hand…. I found an interesting thing beginning to develop in my routine when I was unwinding… I started to watch replays of other people playing various games.. (Starcraft II is one of my faves)…
I wanted you all to hold that thought for a minute… And read this from Scroll VI…
Henceforth, I will know that only those with inferior ability can always be at their best, and I am not inferior. There will always be days when I must constantly struggle against forces which would tear me down. Those such as despair and sadness are simple to recognize, but there are others, which approach with a smile and the hand of friendship, and they can also destroy me. Against them, too, I must never relinquish control –
If I become overconfident, I will recall my failures.
If I overindulge, I will think of past hungers.
If I feel complacency, I will remember my competition.
If I enjoy moments of greatness, I will remember moments of shame.
If I feel all-powerful, I will try to stop the wind.
If I attain great wealth, I will remember one unfed mouth.
If I become overly proud, I will remember a moment of weakness.
If I feel my skill is unmatched, I will look at the stars.
The reality is.. sometimes the things that bring us ultimate joy in our lives.. bring us out of phase with our definite major purpose. Its about keeping ourselves centered.. I took the last week to re-integrate this part of me into my life, but with the understanding that with me being the Master of my emotions … I can have fun and enjoy it… but not let interfere with my definite major purpose in life. In fact it can be used to enhance my life..
As I began to watch replays… it made me realize how much I did miss the art of gaming and the way it helped my brain unravel itself. It allows me to turn off the chatting mind and lets me flow and create in a way that I don’t do in other pursuits in my life. I would say Week 22a was about integrating a huge part of me that I had blocked off from the rest of myself… telling that part of me he is important and I need to be WHOLE in order for the future me to manifest different aspects of my being-ness.
I feel as though for a little while it took a lot of my free time.. and I did neglect the course and my normal routine for a while because of it. But the joy I experienced as a result truly made me see how important this part of me is.
My home work for Week 23 was to bring that part of me into balance… to make time for it as part of my schedule and be aware of what my other responsibilities are. There will be times where I simply need to relax and unwind.. Sometimes I will be Salsa Dancing.. sometimes It’ll be hiking…. or yoga.. or Wall climbing.. but sometimes I will just need to disengage from the go go go.. and truly let my soul relax via the processes in which come most naturally to me.
The biggest part of this, this is all me… I need to be self reliant to make this happen. I have to be the one with the tools to mange my time and my energy… The beauty of what has unfolded with in right now.. is I’ve been given the tools to put everything info focus. I can integrate this part of me and become more Whole Perfect Strong Powerful loving Harmonious & Happy… and be the Champion and Gate Keeper of my Subconscious. After all sometimes its also about learning when to let go and relax….
I think the biggest development for me is learning to remember to keep things balanced when I reach those states of Euphoria and remembering that even when I am happy I need to understand that both the happiness and the sadness are all part of the whole… this has really helped me achieve a balance I haven’t had before in my adult life…